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Literature, Stay@home Boyfriend

Stay@home boyfriend – Shopping!

I just left the other shop, everything is too expensive.

It’s packed here, too many Blacks eish!

Now there’s a lady blocking the way with her wheelchair,
“Sorry,” I ask for a way through.
I’m heading to the ‘Less-Than-3-Items’ till.
This other lady just blocked my way and this other short kid took my spot, sigh!
I don’t mind though.

… Busy thinking about the bad service I’m about to receive,
the queue is a bit long.
Condoms! So expensive! But n’wana costs a kidney and three nuts.

Kambe I need to buy foam bath, toilet paper and electricity.
Hmmm… We can use newspapers and omo,
these things are unnecessary.
How would she find out if I bought R150 electricity and drank the rest?
Eish, these women are chatting up the cashier,
The manager is also complaining, thank God.

Bad bitch! I’m looking at one!
Why she dressed like she’s at the club?
Why am I thinking about taking her home?
These women still talking…
Eyi Sotho people talk too much.
Oh they Tswana!
Swa fana maan!

I got the electricity,
the cashier was nice, and she even spoke Tsonga with me.

But she also helped me while chatting to her colleagues.
Hood service…

I’m now looking for foam bath!

Snap, I need a trolley!
Let me steal one.
I mani a nga lahla? Hmmm….

Mayonnaise broke on the floor; she has no sign, but has an attitude.
I almost stepped on it!
Mini toilet paper is cheap maan,
she won’t know!
I just picked up no-name toilet papers for R38.99
Took two!
2ply papa!

I still need to jerk a trolley.

The employees are flirting,
the guy is whack!

Snap, I’m in the toy section.
I’m too old for toys,
but damn I love them,

Where the fcuk is the foam bath?
Oh I found it.
Just saw a skinny chick,
she looks dramatic!

The Donald duck foam bath looks dope, but mxm!

Braai pack!
What’s a black family without one!
This kid blocking my way
I punch kids! He don’t know ne!
The Zulus are fighting, typical!


This guy packing the meat has tiny hands; did they shrink from the cold?
This girl looks like this other girl who wants to sleep with me from twitter.
Let me change direction,
ni grand!

These mamas blocking the fridge, the drumsticks are all I want.
They busy gossiping,
I have to say “sorry” futheni!

I’m now looking dumb,

Basket is full, and I’m holding the braai pack by my hand.
I feel like iShangaan right now!

Now I have two baskets, and no trolley,

I hate my life…

It’s ok! Let me find a quick till!

Switched tills, the other one didn’t have a packer.

After this I must go pay the dish!

Then rush home to sweep and dust something before she comes back home!


To be continued…

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