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10 Reasons I am not looking forward to going to Heaven

Don’t judge me Sathani.

Here are 10 reasons I am not looking forward to going to Heaven:

  1. It’s a trap. I bet we thought this realm was Heaven…
  2. Not in the mood to play “Test of Faith” with Gabriel and his crew for eternity.
  3. New body. New rules. And a population of judgmental assholes from Earth – Geez!
  4. Jan van Riebeeck might be there.
  5. All the fun people are in hell.
  6. Meeting God is too much pressure; I don’t think I will ever be ready. What do you even say to HER?
  7. Ni nge lunghi eating holy spirit, I need vuswa (pap).
  8. No Manyobinyobi (SEX) allowed.
  9. Angels don’t bother hiding their baby dicks, smh.
  10. Heaven might not even be real; we don’t know how strong the drugs were in 1st century AD…

Featured Image: Pixabay

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